I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
