So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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