You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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