she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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