Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
