I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
