i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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