The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
