Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Alive.
So much puke
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
