Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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