ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
