The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
