Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
