when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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