Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
