So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
