I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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