I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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