i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
