That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
