Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
