Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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