seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize