Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize