three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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