Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
