He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
