I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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