just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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