How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
