ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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