well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
