I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
