So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
