i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
