I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
