she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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