I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
