please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
