I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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