My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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