My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
