it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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