he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
