i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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