I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
