Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
