My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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