**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
