Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
