Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
