apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize