dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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