let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize