i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
