worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
