he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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