I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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