okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
