Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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