Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
