Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
