I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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